Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
