just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
