the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
