We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
