i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
