I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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