Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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