were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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