I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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