Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
