im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
