Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
