The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
