Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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