so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
