I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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