I feel like I'm in dance class right now
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
