Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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