How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize