You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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