i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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