It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
