Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
