Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
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The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize