I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
