just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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