From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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