I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
