I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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