When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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