Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
