I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize