how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
