I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize