I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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