did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
