i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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