he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
