Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
