she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
