How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
