It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
