Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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