he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
