And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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