You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
