I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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