hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
