So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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