His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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