I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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