I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
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you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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