So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Can I color on your dick again?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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