This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
