Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
