Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
