Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dicks are not precious.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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