She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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