JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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