my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I need water and some morals
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
