defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
