idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
