It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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